I’m Engaged! What Do I Do Next?!
One of the most wonderful days has arrived and you’ve become engaged to the love of your life, congratulations to you both! And now… what do you do next? What are the next steps? Where do you even start?
Although I’m not a wedding planner, I do have both personal experience and professional experience as a wedding photographer.
This post is a little guide on where to start and what to do after getting engaged, because all the excitement can feel overwhelming and, for some people, a little bit scary too.
First things first… enjoy being engaged!
Please take the time to enjoy this precious moment, because it only happens once, just like your wedding day. Give yourselves time to simply be engaged, whether that’s for a couple of weeks, a month, or even longer. Be present and embrace this new chapter with your partner.
After enjoying this special time, a new era begins, the planning era. And honestly, I encourage every couple to enjoy this process too.
"Where should I start?"
Firstly, make a cuppa or pour yourselves a glass of wine and have a lovely chat with your partner. Decide on the date you would like to get married. It might be the anniversary of your first date, your first kiss, or simply a random date that feels right to both for you.
Once you have a date in mind, dive into the fantasy world of imagining your special day together. What will it look like? How many guests would you like to invite?Would it be a big celebration or something intimate? Take time to dream together and create a vision that will eventually become reality. At this stage, there are no wrong answers. Just dream together.
And my biggest piece of advice is this: listen to each other and remember that compromises do exist.
Find your venue
This is where the fun really starts.
As you imagine your wedding, will it be an elopement, an intimate celebration, or a big wedding? Will it be outdoors or indoors, in the countryside or the city, local or abroad?
Start researching the location for your special day. Yes, before the legal formalities, find your venue first. Once you've found the place where you can truly picture yourselves getting married, check its availability and book it.
This is important!
A little note before you start booking suppliers…
Whenever you're booking your venue or any of your wedding suppliers, make sure you have a signed agreement or contract.
I know paperwork isn't the exciting part, but contracts protect both you and your suppliers. They make sure everyone knows exactly what's included and give everybody peace of mind.
Trust me, it's worth doing properly from the very beginning.
Now back to planning…
Organise your ceremony
After successfully booking your venue, it's time to organise your ceremony.
Most couples prefer to have both the ceremony and reception on the same day, but I've noticed that some couples prefer a quiet ceremony followed by a larger celebration.
In England and Wales, if you're getting married in a church, the church usually takes care of the legal paperwork and registers the marriage. For other religious ceremonies, you'll need to check the requirements, as you may also need to register your marriage separately.
Book your suppliers
Now that you have your venue and ceremony date sorted, you can move on to booking your other suppliers.
There's no particular order here, but I would encourage you to book the following as soon as possible:
Wedding planner (if you're hiring one)
Photographer
Videographer
Florist
DJ or life music
Make-up artist
Wedding cake baker
Catering, if your venue doesn't provide food
And honestly, the order doesn't matter too much unless you have a wedding planner organising everything for you.
Choosing your photographer
I might be slightly biased here, but your photographer is just as important as every other supplier, because they are the person, or people, who will capture your special day in a single take. There are no retakes, no second chances and no opportunity to reshoot your wedding.
Choose wisely, because these photographs will stay with you for the rest of your lives. They'll become treasured memories for you, your children and your family for many years to come.
As I often say to my amazing clients, your photographs will basically become a family heirloom, so treat them that way from the very beginning by choosing the right photographer.
How do you choose your wedding photographer? I'll tell you all about that in my next post, loves.
Flowers and styling
Once you've booked your photographer and videographer (if you're having one), it's time to think about flowers.
It's helpful to have at least an approximate vision in mind, preferably with a few inspirational photos from the internet, so you can discuss your ideas with florists and see whether they can bring your vision to life.
Speak to at least three florists. It isn't only about price it is also about attitude, communication and understanding your vision matter too.
And always check in with your partner, especially if you're the one leading the planning process.
A little planning trick from me
It's perfectly okay if your partner is more passive during the planning process. Trust me, it doesn't mean they don't want to be involved.
When I was planning my own wedding for 100 guests, I had a simple trick. I always chose two or three options for everything… three wedding colour palettes, three photography styles, three cake designs … and then my dear husband made the final decision.
Do you see the trick?
All the options were my favourites, and he simply chose his favourite from my favourites.
Simple! Everyone feels involved, and there are no arguments.
The same approach works for venues, DJ’s, wedding cakes and many other suppliers. Gather inspiration photos and discuss your ideas together.
Save the dates
Now that the basics are sorted, you can start letting your family and friends know about your special day.
If your wedding is at least a year away, I highly recommend sending Save the Date cards (digital or printed, or both) so your guests can plan their calendars, finances and accommodation in advance.
Your Save the Date could even include one of your engagement photos and some general information about the wedding date and location, with a little note that the official invitations and further details will follow.
It's incredibly helpful for everyone and increases the chances that all the people you love will be able to celebrate with you.
From personal experience
Everything I've mentioned here is exactly what I did myself… twice, with the same person!
Our first wedding was an intimate elopement in England, and three months later we had our church wedding and celebration in Bulgaria with 100 guests.
Everything was organised while living here in beautiful England, and we genuinely enjoyed the process.
In conclusion
Remember that this is your wedding day, and it should look exactly as you and your partner envision it.
Of course, we all love our families, parents and friends, and their advice can be wonderful. But it doesn't mean your wedding should become their vision of a perfect day…unless, their ideas genuinely inspire you.
Make your day your own, because most guests, including family members, will remember only the parts of the day that involved them, not every detail that mattered to you. You will remember all of it.
Your goal is to create a fairytale for yourselves.
That's not selfish… it's a healthy attitude towards yourselves and your marriage.
So, this is where the journey begins. Before all the little details and finishing touches, the foundations are in place, and that's an amazing feeling.
Happy planning, wonderful couples, and I'm looking forward to seeing the beginning of your beautiful forever!